SPLATH!

This is "my" blog.  But guests read it.  (not many!)  Can I go off on the occasional one who deserves worse, or do I stay the high road?  Do I risk being seen as unprofessional or do I make light of the foolish, while achieving a bit of therapy.  Decisions, decisions!  Any opinions?

Here's the thing... We have always had to deal with difficult situations and guests.  And, of course, "the customer is always right".  A philosophy that is good business certainly, but a term almost certainly coined by a customer!  And, back in a time before everybody had an opinion and a forum to share it.  Really, how much do I hate YELP!?  For starter's, it's named after what one does when having their toes stepped on!  "Hey hon, why did the dog just yelp"?  "Cuz granma rocked over his tail".  YELP! invites whiners, big mouths, people with agendas, people who have a need to be heard, etc."

YELP! is to Restaurant Reviews what  arm chairs are for Monday morning quarterbacks!  (but add in the extortion!)

Looking for knowledgeable, objective, intelligent reviews?  Go to the Open Table forum.  You will find a much better class of reviewers.  People who intended to dine in an atmosphere they sought, and are therefore, not intimidated or offended or ignorant of their environment. 

So anyway, we read, we extract information that may have merit, or create teaching opportunities, and try hard to ignore the rest. But every once in a while you get some one who you just want to....grrr.

Like the "My shrimp cocktail was cold"  or "the restaurant was all over the map" (duh...it's a global theme!!) or "Dirk" (was it DICK) whose main complaint was that we don't have a blender for his wife's Pina Colada...or how about this one...

"The Ice Cream wasn't warm on the Apple Volcano" (it was shaped like a Volcano! )  But this knucklehead actually became sarcastic and wrote "Get it?  Volcano."  (Like we were the lava brains!)  Can you trust anything a man says who complains that the ice cream is cold?!

Enter "that guy" , who is apparently a business consultant.  (Which makes this whole thing more interesting)  And, he was also a business writer.  But, as consultant who tells others how things should be done, and a previous writer who wrote about how others do things, and now a (waaaa) yelper, who complains about how other's do business...you get the picture, right?  A sure formula for....grrr.

I won't go on about people's pompousness nature or how "anonymous" reviewers are comfortable slamming other's but retreat when they themselves get slammed as it would be way too long and boring as relayed in this blog.  I will mention, however, "the flavor" of this has since been removed rant;

1." we came in and our coats were taken from us.  My wife wore her $8,000 mink coat and expressed real concern at the front desk that we didn't get a numbered tag.  (The hostess) said that people used to "steal them".  We asked, how they'd know our coats from anyone elses?  She didn't answer the question."

PLATH INTERJECTS;
1. OK, 1st...Who spends $8,000 on a coat?  Honestly.
2. Now, who leaves $8,000 with a 20 year old (BUSY!) hostess ESPECIALLY after said hostess says the word "steals"  and that there are no tags for the coat.  (translation...no accountability?)
3. And finally, who leaves an $8,000 coat on a coat rack, in the open, right by the front door, and THEN blames the hostess/establishment for a lack of...what?  A coat room!?

YELPER CONTINUES;

* FYI - when we left about 11:30 PM, there was NO ONE ANYWHERE NEAR THE COATS - my wife and I went over there and grabbed our coats - thank God that no one had decided they wanted a mink coat and had walked over there and grabbed it.  Needless to say, you put my wife and I at risk of losing a $8000 mink coat.

PLATH INTERJECTS

DUDE! YOU put your wife at risk for losing an $8,000 Mink.  The words "Not responsible for lost or stolen articles" were inspired by people like you.  Ever seen one of these signs?  It was a coat rack, not a secure room.  She was a hostess (who is off duty @ 10PM).  Did you really expect someone to babysit your Mink?  When you "grabbed" your coats, was this some latent show of great concern? Did you actually suggest to my manager that we read your business articles?  And, what kind of writer uses the word "coat" four times in two sentences?!  I'm just sayin'.

Reader;  I know this sounds angry.  I'm not.  It just amazes me the lack of personal reposnibility that surrounds us so often, and how guys like this, who MISS THE OBVIOUS CONNOTATION (no coat room, cold ice cream, "mushy" falafel) then waxes intelligent.  And points fingers.  And goes public.  "That Guy" apparently lacking a clue, gets to publicly criticize MY BUSINESS.  Mind boggling.  FYI, within his rant;

His was the only soup in over 30 served who said it wasn't hot enough.  (of course, recall, he expected warm ice cream)
He complained that the crab-falafel was "mushy".  Hello!?  Crab...ground chick pea....
He complained in his public rant that he did not receive his "as advertised" complimentary glass of "midnight toast" champagne. (advertised as a "midnight toast") but makes it sound as though we dropped the ball, when he didn't stay until the ball dropped.  Yelper Dude left at 11.30, and apparently failed to process that "midnight toast" suggests, well... MIDNIGHT!

OK...I feel better knowing that many many people (36?) will read my blog and scoff along with me. 
Hey...We make mistakes.  No doubt.  But two can play the public criticism, I'm-smarter-than-you-are game!  Revenge?  Never!  Just that "my house" isn't the only one made of glass.

I say Sue Yelp!

3/27  **FOLLOW UP; AFTER A CONVERSATION BETWEEN THIS GUEST AND MYSELF 3 MONTHS LATER, THE GUEST HAS SINCE RETURNED TO MOONSTONES, RECEIVED EXCELLENT TREATMENT AND ATTENTION, AND HAS SINCE CHANGED HIS OPINION, AND REVIEW TO A MUCH MORE POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE.  WE BOTH LOOK FORWARD TO A POSITIVE, LONG TERM BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP AND HAVE AGREED TO PUT PAST ANIMOSITY ASIDE.  A MUCH BETTER FEELING IF YOU ASK ME!