SPLATH!

After a killer, non Folk Festival record breaking weekend, a "Thank you" is in order to our incredible staff.  (And, not just for this weekend...Our staffs bust ass all the time, but after getting pounded at both locations on Saturday, then back at it at 8am for Mother's Day and another 15 hour day for many...seriously...)

BASEBALL AND BBQ!

To our valued guests*, both 'Stones will be closed on Memorial Day Monday, 5/28

If you are looking for us, we are fixin' to go hog wild at either The Red Sox game root, root, rooting with a cold brew at hand, OR down yonder at Sweet Cheeks BBQ on Boylston St, hoe'ing down on some bad-ass BBQ.  If you haven't been...GREAT spot.  All the right things are happening there: Great BBQ, great beer and drinks, local support, "never ever" commodity beef, all kinds of re purposed design and, oh by the way, white bread...Keepin' it real.

I reckon' you know it's right when the cole slaw and collard greens kick ass!  Just sayin'

*We would invite all of YOU, our amazing customers, but Fenway did not have a billion open seats!  

My father in law is the man.  Ask anyone.  A man’s man, by any definition—tough, stout, funny, charming, kind and caring.  And an old school gentleman.

 If you have ever read the popular blog (now book?) “The shit my father says”, albeit funny, in the world of quotable, it is the exact opposite of what I would write about “Big Jim.”  Something more like “The ap-cray my father-in-law shares.”  Some of these classics leave you flabbergasted--shaking your head, and often looking for some furher clarity.  He has one gem after another; When he is not quoting Kipling or Frost or Wadsworth. 

 Here are a few from only one week of vacation.. Enjoy.

“That guy was a horses molly”  (code for, well, arse)  Followed by;
“Had he said anything more, we would have been at loggerheads”

“She’s a hot sketch” which is quite different than:
“She looked like the wreck of the Hesparus”

“I hate the buggers”  (actually a compliment, referencing an atttactive woman, and then
from the side of his mouth, just above a whisper..)
“Perhaps an older man?”

On toast...
“He’s a casper milk toast”
“It' as warm as toast”

“I took a Dixie” and “I almost bought the farm that time”

“Be right back fellas.  I’m going to shed a tear”
(Which is not wholly different, but much more specific than)
“I’m going to see a man about a horse”

(To my mother-in-law, who provides quiet oversight and conscience…)
“Well, It’s not better for me if I do not like it”

And while telling a story…
“The Spanish Armada’s boat sank and they infiltrated Ireland.”  Followed by:
“That must be why I like the Flamenco”

And a few more...

“They were all full of donkey dust”

“He got out of there like a raped ape”

"The best relationship between boss and employee is when one man never mentions it, and the other never forgets it”

“That would be enough to frost your garters”

“For cripes sake”

Generally, Mother's Day is the biggest day of the year in resataurants.  Of course, in Lowell, there are ever-present and pleasant anomolies such as Winterfest and Folk Festival that challenge Mother's Day for top honors.  But COMBINED between both 'Stones...HANDS DOWN!

 This year, for the 1st time ever, we served over 1,000 in the same day.  Both restaurants did nearly 400 brunches, and Moonstones just recorded a record breaking week after 4 years--then broke the new record one week later!  Great stuff.

And, of course, how does that happen?  Managers and chefs and a staff of nearly 100 bust their ass!  Yesterday morning I walked into Moonstones at 7am with fresh bagels for the staff (Bagel Alley, Nashua...the very best bagels north of Brooklyn, south of heaven!) and there was sous-chef Tiffani Natisnky blasting WBCN (or was it WAAF?) getting the place set up by herself.  As humble as Tiffani is, when I asked "You alone?" She said, yes, "but all those guys worked late."  Though a statement of fact, truth is, you don't need a whole lot more than Tiffani to get the thing staged.  She rocks.

Over at Cobblestones half an hour later, the staff was "business as usual", setting up for our 19th consecutive Mother's Day Brunch.  That's right...next year...#20.  (No wonder I felt so old last night...after spending half the time as the staff, doing 10% as much!!)

All and all, it was  a great day with hundreds of thrilled customers and only a few "temporarily misplaced reservations" and disappointed guests--one who did not accept the "Too busy for menu changes" policy that was put in place .  This policy was to serve the greater good of the whole--as when you are serving hundreds of guests, the "picky eaters" tend to mess things up for the rest.  When I tried to explain this to Mr. "all I can eat is poached eggs", that we didn't even have poaching liquid simmering, he replied "If I have to, I will go back there and show the chefs how to do poached eggs."  For his own safety--the chef's tolerance level was tested on this day--I discouraged his trip to the kitchen and told him we would figure something out.

We did.

Just last week, we had a customer issue the night before we headed to Chicago for the National Restaurant Association food show (That's the OTHER NRA..though after 3 days, I did want someone to shoot me!), 

"Sir, how was your dinner?" I asked.  "It was ok" he replied without eye contact or a smile, as he walked towards the bathroom.

I immediately walked to Jan Johnson, one of our very best servers, and demanded (asked sweetly) "Did you have any issues with Table #26?"  Jan said no, but he did leave her only 10% indicating maybe something went wrong.

So, I went to the manager, Cody Weber.  "Cody, when that dude comes out of the bathroom and heads for the door, inquire again, how everything was, and seek information"

Cody did so.  Same conversation.  Cody pressed: "Is there something we could have done better sir?" (Seriously...we WANT to know these things) "No" he said, and walked past Cody, out the door.

At that second, his wife/date who he had also ignored, and left behind, turned to Cody and said "Everything was fine.  Really"

So, here's what we think-- Maybe she refused to share her pie.  He got pissed.  He sulked.  He reverted to one word answers like a grumpy 6 year old.  He stiffed the waitress.

There's a name for that guy...

(Stay tuned!  Days at the food show, nights out in Chicago, with many restaurant folk, makes for some good stories.  They are being written "any day")

Hey...What's one of the many ways you know you are hanging with a bunch of restaurant professionals?  Answer: The topic continues to return to "Is that good for the gout?"

May 2nd, 2012, otherwise known as Dos de Mayo. Or...Tequila/Mexican Dinner night at Moonstones. 11AM I commit to overseeing/attending the dinner, for the food and company, but no drinking. (When you own restaurants, it is important to set such limits...or EVERY night is a reason to drink) 11:30am Email from GM saying we are sold out for the dinner 11:50am Text message from a friend asking to add 3 more to the tequila dinner 12:30pm Text message from a different friend asking to add one more to the tequila dinner 1:15pm Text message from friend #1 informing that 2 have dropped out, "net add one" 2:50pm Email from GM stating that the restaurant is completely booked, besides the tequila dinner being ever so slightly overbooked. 3:15pm I pick up from my sister-in-laws, Spunky --my miniature shnauzer--who she has been peeing "old man pee" on their carpets while I was away 4:00pm Drop off Spunky, look for something Mexican to wear that is not "tacky"

4:15pm Unsuccessful. 5:00pm Text message--"maybe one more for the Tequila dinner. Is that ok?" 6:00pm 12 people arrive at the restaurant "A table for 12. We are from PUMA" 6:02pm The 12 people are seated at the table reserved for "PUMA". 6:15pm The restaurant is PACKED, standing room only. All seats taken. 6:30pm 12 people walk in and state "We have a reservation for 12 under PUMA" 6:35pm General manager explains the mix up--and the reservation for 12 has no table, but "we will seat you as soon as possible" 6:36pm 10 people are understanding, "that guy" asks for free drinks, and the one "lady" who made the reservation glares menacingly at management--and keeps stare going for the next two hours. 6:45pm Displaced group is seated, given many complimentary appetizers, a round of free drinks, way too many apologies, and over the top attentive service. 7:00pm A "walk in group of "20 to 30" looks for seating. Or service. 7:15pm The walk in group... walks out. 8:00pm "She" is STILL staring at management, or ignoring attempts to be attentive and helpful--what's the word I am looking for here...? 8:01pm I fantasize about grabbing "she" by the back of the shirt and walking her to the door, with a final kick in the... 8:15pm The food at the dinner is delicious...and I wonder why I committed to not drinking. 10:00pm I observe all of the people who have been drinking at the tequila dinner, having a great time of course, but am satisfied with my decision. 11:00pm Catching up on American Idol.