SPLATH!

Ok, even though like, it seems no one reads this Blog (and that in no way is meant to offend neither my very supportive brother in law John, nor my mom) it’s funny that sometimes people will make a comment relative to having read it. Two people (besides my Mom) have made comments about the previous posting “Don’t Be That Guy” (which talks about pompous, arrogant-without-cause customers who use flawed sites like Yelp to feel better about themselves.  See below if you wish)

"That guy" said some stupid stuff. And, apparently the few people who read this blog are interested in the stupid stuff that customers say.

Here’s one of my all time favorites, heard at Marty's Arena; “the beer is watered down”. This one kills me. Where, I always wonder do these prognosticators think that the water is introduced into the beer? Does Budweiser brew the beer for the ballpark with extra water? (no) Do the kegs get delivered, then the offending establishment figures out how to somehow get water into that (sealed) keg? (no) Or maybe, they put some water in the cups, before they fill them with beer? (no) Case in point; Unless you drink your keg beer on ice, it’s not “watered down”. Ever. Trust me on this one.

Here’s a beauty, on the other end of the spectrum. Not stupid, but definitely different;

“The pinot noir tastes like dusty attic furniture” I love that!! Not earthen, not barnyard…but dusty attic furniture. Classic.

This wasn’t a customer, on this occasion anyway, but its worthy of sharing; At a recent wedding, at dinner, I told the grooms mother how terrific she looked, and that I loved her hair. She shared with me that she also had her nails and toes done, but “didn’t have enough time for a wax”.

As my daughter’s (who sometimes read this…maybe…) might say… “TMI!” (too much information)

“My blackened swordfish is burnt” (er, blackened?)

“My martini is weak” (100% alcohol hon)

“It’s fishy” (fish stew gets like that.  It's a broth thing.)

“It’s gamey” (Antelope.  Maybe we should have forewarned)

“It’s eggy” (Crème Brulee, made of sugar and, well, eggs)

“it was chewy” (calamari…ordered well done)

“That’s not what mofongo tastes like” (no comment!)

“Only 4 scallops” (u10’s are 1.5 -2oz each)

“My wine glass is not even half full” (it’s an 18 oz glass!)

“The fried seafood plate is not big enough” (two ladies split it)

“The crab falafel was mushy” (crab…falafel...um...)

“The menu is all over the map” (globally themed.  Thanks for the compliment)

“We asked for house dressing and she brought salsa”

(no, it was tomato-basil vinaigrette…the house dressing, also red and chunky)

And, the last one for today….

“it lacked flavor” (ordered with no butter, no garlic, and no salt!!)

And you KNOW there’s more. I’m smiling, still, after all these years but…I’m just sayin’…