RANDOM DISTRACTED THOUGHTS OVER COCKTAILS

Written by  ,     May 14, 2019     Posted in Uncategorized

- Poopouri is not a good product. Clever? Creative? Maybe. Theoretically, making shit smell like lemons is worthy. In practice, it makes lemon smell like shit. Not ok

- People who hate beets convert when they eat Beet Ravioli at Moonstones. I’m not saying that because I own Moonstones. Or because I necessarily want people to love beets. It’s just a thing. And people keep telling me this.

-Get over paper straws folks. Petroleum products are poison. Climate change is real. People are dying. And you don’t want a paper straw. Don’t even. This is a good thing. Let’s talk about something more interesting.

- Don’t ask me if I need change. Say, I’ll be right back with your change. I’ll take it from there.

- I tell Alexa to play Dave Matthews. Dave Matthews shows up on my cell phone Spotify, uninvited. And Alexis steals all my information. You know she does. And the government pretends to be hard on Mark Zuckerberg but don’t believe that shit. He’s a government agent and privacy is gone. Shit is real.

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